In April, 1980 my life took a change that, at times, I thought would dominate me and totally consume me. Actually, my "little problem" started at least one year prior to that. I noticed a small white lesion my tongue but didn't give it much thought. I was 29 years old, happily married, working at a major company, in a good position, and healthy. We had just bought a new home and the possibility of starting a family was within sight.
So after several months went by and that stubborn little mark kept coming back, now turning into a small node about half the size of a pencil eraser, I made an appointment with my physician. He assured me that it was nothing, probably just an irritation. By November, 1979 the node encompassed an area on the side of my tongue about the size of a small olive and was pretty uncomfortable. I went back to my doctor who said it was a slight infection that happens to women about my age and to keep on rinsing with warm water mixed with a bit of salt. I went back in January, 1980 and my "wonderful" physician told me to stop wasting his time. I left, very much ashamed. Thankfully, the following month I had a very painful wisdom tooth episode. It was at night and my own dentist wasn't available so my husband opened up our phone book and found a dentist listed that said he would take emergency appointments. Bless him, he took care of my tooth and took one look at my tongue and made an appointment with an oral surgeon for me. My appointment was in three weeks.
By now it was March, 1980 and after seeing him and his partner, they decided to do a biopsy at the end of the month. They sent the biopsy in for a reading to a topnotch medical center and also asked an ENT specialist for an opinion. That specialist saved my life. He called my office on April 2 and had me in the hospital on April 4th for oral surgery. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma. I had half of my tongue removed. Although, he is an unbelievably good surgeon, the shock of it was pretty earth shattering. I had to learn how to talk and eat all over again. No speech therapy was ever offered so I read aloud for three weeks and returned to work the fourth week after the surgery. I was so embarrassed to face everyone with my new slurred speech but I guess I was pretty much determined to get my life back to normal.
I kept seeing my wonderful ENT doctor, first weekly then gradually working up to every month. Until February, 1981 everything had returned to as close to normal (mixed with paranoia) as possible, but once again I noticed something new. This time a lump behind my jaw line on my neck had appeared. I told my doctor and he had some problem feeling it but this time I was persistent and after hounding him to do something about it he sent me for a test to see what this lump (he could now feel) was. It was a continuation of my cancer that occurred the year before. This time I ended up with a left radical neck dissection and was advised that radiation therapy was recommended. I had the surgery in May, 1981 and radiation therapy followed in July (over 5 weeks, daily treatments).
At the end of the treatments, in August, I developed a bad throat infection and was hospitalized for this plus the fact that I had not eaten anything for a few days and was terribly dehydrated. My doctor was out of town and his partner came into my hospital room and had his lunch with me and got me to start drinking tea and fluids, bless him! I was incredibly frightened, very paranoid that my life was over. I kept asking my surgeon to give me a percentage of the odds of my survival. I became deeply spiritual and had many prayers said for and by me. I attended a couple of wonderful healing services and somehow I got through the next year with the love of my husband and family.
My speech returned to pretty close to what it had been prior to the first surgery and the scar on my neck started to fade. What was sometimes surprising was a couple of friends totally avoided me for the next few years. It was like they were afraid to speak to me, or face me. I never found out why. I worried about the scars and the way my neck was now kind of misshapen. But luckily my surgeon was excellent and the scar became much less of a worry over the years. My surgeon once said "wear it as a banner of courage for what you've overcome." I think the most horrible thing was the fact that the cancer had totally consumed my life. Once I realized that, I worked on convincing myself that the cancer wasn't my life! It was something to be dealt with, put behind me and get on with my life.
By the end of 1984, we moved from our present home to our "dream house", a little ranch on a river where we still live. This was the best thing we could have done. Our surroundings are filled with beautiful wildlife and lovely sunsets on the water. It's now May, 2000 and I reached my 20 year survivor anniversary! It was a bit overshadowed because in Feb. of this year I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. My physicians tell me there is NO connection with my previous cancer and radiation therapy. I'm so grateful for the years I was cancer free and my present diagnosis is that this type of leukemia is chronic and can last many years. I'm 51 years old now and very content. Life goes on after cancer, so be well, find a GOOD physician, put your faith in him and above all God. Thanks for allowing me to tell you my story.