Well, I have made it to seven years!  And I am feeling just fine thank you.  But, it is really strange to go back and read what I wrote a few years ago.  To make it easy on myself, I just pulled up my "three year" information, to replace with my seven year thoughts, and got to reading what I wrote back then.  That was four years ago!  A lot has happened since then.  A lot has changed since then.  George W. Bush had not been elected for the first time yet.  There was no 9-11 tragedy.  There was no terrorist hunt in Afghanistan.  There was no war in Iraq.  And our society has already changed since the attacks on the Twin Towers.  Remember how adamant we were as a society about hunting down Osama bin Laden?  Remember how united we were those months after the attacks?  Well, we are now back to whining about the economy and what's not going right.  And, now we are facing a new election with pundits from both sides feeling certain they are right.  But, through it all, I can say I am thankful for what God has given me in terms of continued freedom from cancer, and blessings for my family.  So, reading through my three year survivor thoughts, I know four more years have now passed.  But, I'll go ahead and jot down some thoughts on how it feels at seven years...

A lot has happened since my six year anniversary.  And, as I think about how I feel about cancer at this time, I can say that a lot of the "cancer experience" and all that goes with it, is now behind me.  Of course I still have worries whenever I feel a strange pain or ache.  And I get anxious before seeing the doctor.  But, I am seeing my otolaryngologist only once a year now.  And the doc I am seeing now I have met only once, and don't have the intimate history I had with my surgeon, Dr. Gleich.  The one thing I can say is, I am still seeing Dr. G - only this Dr. G is Dr. Jack Gluckman.  And, interestingly, he was the the doctor I had originally TRIED to see in 1997 when this adventure began.  Funny how if you wait long enough, you may well get what you wanted.  Sheesh.

At seven years, I am feeling well.  The cancer related complaints remain:

• Dry mouth.  
• Slow eating.  
• Sinus drainage of thick phlegm (this is annoying because I have to spit it out because swallowing doesn't work - it just doesn't go down).
• Achy shoulder (from the removal of my sternocleidomastoid muscle in my neck).
• Achy neck where the surgery was.

And I have some other "issues" that I feel are, or could be, related to my cancer experience:

• Blood pressure has increased slightly.  I have wondered if this might not be constriction due to scar tissue in my blood vessels, in turn, due to radiation.  Sometimes, I feel my heart beating in my neck/head... and it is like a throbbing, that can actually cause my head to move with my heartbeat.  Even if sitting still.  Especially if sitting still.  I do take a very low dosage of blood pressure medication to make sure things are "OK."
• I have developed this hypersensitivity to no longer being symmetrical.  I know it seems trivial, and probably sounds crazy when considering the cancer treatment I had, and how thankful I should be (and am!) to have survived for seven years.  But, when I look in the mirror, I see a reflection of an asymmetrical person.  My neck appears to bend because one side is "scooped" out.  And when I look down at my chest and stomach, I see atrophy on the surgery side.  And I see my stomach protruding more so on the the non-surgery side of my body.  I suspect this is due to the fact that the shoulder on my surgery side "pulls" inward.  And causes that side of my body to slump.  I am constantly trying to pull that shoulder back into place.  But, it is a losing battle.  There is no muscle there.  And the bones on my back show despite the fact that I am nearly at my pre-cancer weight.  So, in my mind, the whole left side of my body "appears" to be weakened, in addition to actually being weakened.  Make sense?  This includes my neck, shoulder, back and even down to my waistline.  I can't explain why this is such a big deal, but it bugs the crap out of me.  I guess as long as there are no real problems, I shouldn't be worrying about it . . . but . . .
• Tinnitus - The high pitched ringing in my ears is a lot more prevalent now than ever before.  It gets so loud, I can't hear the fan in our bedroom for it.  Again - probably due to radiation?

So, as you can see (if you have read through this web site), some things haven't really changed much.  And while I'm on a bulleted list kick, I CAN tell you:

• Hot showers with good water pressure feel GREAT on an achy back.  (In fact, I have seen these setups in the malls where you can lie down in a tube and have a high pressure water spray "scan" your body.  I have thought seriously about trying that - and/or, therapeutic massage!)  
• A nice cold drink of water after a long walk, or talk, is soothing.  
• A humidifier in the winter helps with dry mouth at night.  
• Being able to make snorting noises to clear out the thick phlegm is greatly satisfying (but, I do have to be judicious about when and where I do this!).  
• It is a joy to eat ice cream.  
• It's wonderful to be with my family.  
• It's wonderful to look at my 13 year old daughter and realize that but for the grace of God, I might not have lived to see her reach 7.
• It feels absolutely super when I lie down at night to go to bed.  All the muscles get to relax!  (I'd love to try one of those Tempurpedic beds)
• . . . and of course this could go on and on . . .

All these things can probably be said by anyone who HASN'T had cancer too.  But, from my perspective, these things (and many more) are especially satisfying now, versus before I had cancer and treatment for it. 

On another note, I find that my job is a major source of frustration.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to be working, and have in fact survived job cuts for the past four years.  But, with each reorganization and downsizing, those who are left find themselves overburdened with more work.  There is only so much a person can take.  It is a corporate trend these days, but that doesn't make it right.  I could probably write a whole "chapter" on this, but it would be getting away from the purpose of this web site, now, wouldn't it?

I guess the one thing that really indicates how things are going for me at seven years, is the fact that I have been too busy to write this update, until today.  I am a couple days PAST my seven year anniversary, and have been involved in my daughter's soccer team practices, birthday parties (my daughter turns 13 on 9/2, and I think back to when I was diagnosed in 1997, and how terrible I felt because it put a damper on my daughter's 6th birthday), band practices, work responsibilities, and web development for the SPOHNC web site (a new redesign is coming soon as of this writing).  And, some day, I plan to redesign this site as well.  But, I figure the information is the same whether it's a cool looking site or not - so, no rush.  But, my point is, life is full of activity.  That means living.  Despite the things in life that could be better - like the economy, like the world situation, like a job that is merely paying the bills, and providing no enjoyment, . . .  well, to put it all in perspective, those things are pretty meaningless when you really stop to think about it.  I mean think about the big picture.  If you have your health, and your family, and some degree of happiness, and feel blessed, everything else is secondary.  Life will go on, regardless.  So, it is good to be a part of it, right?  

I know this seven year update hasn't gotten into my usual philosophical frame of mind.  Maybe that too is a function of having returned to the "daily grind" way of life.  Several people have written telling me I should  write a book about all this stuff.  That might actually be an interesting project.  But, then I'd have to worry about grammar and spelling.  And, I'd probably get writers' block.  Maybe if I lose my job in the next downsizing, I'll HAVE to start writing - just to eat!  Wish me luck.